


Baby, We Could Be Enough

by SilverShadow1



Series: Harry & Louis - Stockholm Syndrome [3]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Flashbacks, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Mild Angst, Mild Language, Wedding Fluff, serodiscordant relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-14
Updated: 2018-01-14
Packaged: 2019-03-04 21:43:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13373640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverShadow1/pseuds/SilverShadow1
Summary: It was a long road for Harry and Louis to finally reach their wedding day, but despite the obstacles in their path, they find a way to reconcile and profess their love to the only one who truly mattered to them.ORWhere Harry recalls the last two years in flashbacks and finally gets his happy ending.





	Baby, We Could Be Enough

The sun always shone brightest over the wide, vast field in Holmes Chapel. Wherever you found yourself — in the heart of the town, by the decrepit chapel, near the school —, the field consistently attracted light more than any other spot.

Perhaps it was because the sunlight had nowhere to go. Likewise, if it was a gloomy day, you would not find a darker place than the field. It was the perfect spot for couples to disappear to at night. Even though the space was entirely open, darkness descended every evening and clothed the lovers in anonymity. A person could get lost at night or be found by day in that field.

Simultaneously a place for couples to stumble in the dark at night, the morning brought new possibilities and hope for a brighter, impenetrable future.

It was the perfect spot for a couple to start a new life together.

“Harry, dear, you’re doing it again,” sighed Anne.

He glanced up at her absentmindedly. He was sitting in his childhood living room, a mess of chaos surrounding him. He paid it no mind, though, and tried to focus on his mother.

“Pardon?”

She smiled sympathetically at him.

“You’re biting your lip raw and ruining your hair. You know that the girls will have your head quite literally if they have to re-do it.”

“Sorry, Mum,” he said, looking down. Due to that, he missed her frown.

“Are you sure you’re ready for this, dear? You look positively frightful.”

He fixed her with an unimpressed look.

“Brilliant.”

“You know what I mean, dear,” Anne said. “You’re white as a sheet.”

“I didn’t sleep much last night,” he admitted, twisting the ruby ring on his middle finger. “Or the night before that. Or —”

“The night before that,” finished Anne, sitting down beside him. “Talk to me, darling.”

He found himself trapped in his own mind, a feeling that he was common for him in times of great stress or uncertainty. He was not sure how to articulate his thoughts without worrying his mother.

“I was never more sure about anything,” he said, slowly. He focused on the gold buckles of his black shoes. They were shined for him yesterday. “I’m not getting cold feet.”

“Well, that’s a good start,” said Anne, bracingly. He snorted. “That doesn’t answer my question, though.” He looked at her with an arched eyebrow. “Are you ready?”

“It’s a little late to ask me that now, isn’t it?” She shook her head.

“I almost snuck out the window the day of my wedding to your dad,” she admitted, and his eyes widened. “You and Gemma almost never happened.”

“Christ, you never told me that!”

“It wasn’t my finest moment,” Anne said, breezily. “It took three bridesmaids and a disgruntled mother-in-law to tug me back inside. I would’ve had an advantage if I weren’t in three inch heels and a gown straight out of the 80’s.”

Despite himself, he could not help but laugh at the image. His mother was so collected, and he could not imagine her being anything but prepared for every situation.

“How did they change your mind?” he asked.

“They didn’t,” she replied. “I did. I just had to remember what your father’s face looked like and it was a no-brainer after that.”

He subconsciously went to bite his lower lip again before releasing it. Anne smiled.

“I’m sure that I can arrange a photo for you if you’re having trouble remembering,” she teased, gently. He shook his head.

“No, it’s not that. I’m just thinking back to that morning.”

 

_ ~Flashback~ _

**_2020 – The Morning Louis Left_ **

 

**_I knew that I couldn’t make you walk out the door like I did nearly a decade ago._ **

 

**_I’m sorry._ **

 

_ Those words were ingrained in his mind like a Top 40’s song that the radio had on a tight cycle. He did not know what to do with those words; they were not a comfort to him, they did not keep him warm at night … they did not even truly explain what was going on in Louis’ mind when he decided to leave before he awoke. _

_ No, all those words did were reaffirm that putting your faith in a relationship could end in unfathomable pain. _

_ He reached for his phone, dialing a number that he knew from heart. _

_ “Hello?” _

_ “Can you come over? I need your help.” _

 

_ *** _

 

_ “I’ll kill him. I’ll bloody kill him for doing this to you again.” _

_ “I’d say we’re about even in the ‘walking out’ department, don’t you think?” he said, drily. _

_ “It’s not funny, H,” said Niall, pacing the living room of the former’s flat. “A  _ note _. A bloody note that didn’t give you any answers and he expects that to justify what he did?” _

_ “Something tells me that he wasn’t looking for my acceptance, Ni,” he said, honestly. “I think more than anything that he wants me to hate him and not look for him again.” _

_ “Then — and I can’t believe that I’m saying this — you should listen to him. Take the one good thing he’s ever done for you — setting you free — and don’t look back.” _

_ “You know that I can’t do that; it’s not how any of this works.” _

_ “Not how any of this — he  _ left _ , Harry!” _

_ “Say it louder, I don’t think the neighbors and paps quite heard you.” _

_ Niall had the decency to at least look remorseful. The Irish lad sat down beside him. _

_ “I just hate seeing you like this, Harry,” Niall said, putting a hand on his shoulder. “You know that I’ll help you in any way. You deserve better than to keep living on eggshells.” _

_ “You don’t get it, Niall,” he said, pulling at his hair in frustration. _

_ “Then help me to understand.” He took a steadying breath. _

_ “Louis was refusing to take any of his meds. No, let me finish,” he said when he could sense Niall was going to interject. “Ever since I came out publicly on the radio station and we became public, everything started going downhill.” _

_ “They were awful to him, Niall. The tabloids, the so-called fans … you name it, they said it about him and us. He was more and more paranoid that someone would leak that he has the virus and it would only get worse. He …” _

_ He let out a shuddering breath and felt Niall’s arms tighten around him. He leaned onto Niall’s shoulder, grateful for the sign of support. _

_ “He said that we would always be separated because of our DNA … because our blood is entirely different from one another.” _

_ “H …” He shook his head. _

_ “I know that he’s right, Niall. He’s absolutely right, but just because I’ll never understand what he goes through and what lives with inside of him doesn’t mean that I won’t stand beside him and still love him. Sure, it scares me, but it was never a dealbreaker for me. It couldn’t be; he’s still Louis and watching him risk his life by not taking his meds terrified me half to death.” _

_ “You said he stopped taking all of his meds?” Niall prompted after a moment’s silence. _

_ “He stopped taking his meds for schizophrenia as well,” he said, tiredly. “I told him that I would be there for the good days and the bad, but he was convinced that on his worst days, I would eventually get fed up and leave him.” _

_ “I need to show him that he’s wrong, Niall. I need to show him that I’ll be there for him in good times and in bad ones. I said as much to his mum the first time that I spoke with her. He just doesn’t want to wait around in case I decide to change my mind and cut my losses.” _

_ “What can I do?” asked Niall, and he felt an overwhelming burst of love for the lad. _

_ “I need you to cover for me with Jeff.” _

 

_ ~End Flashback~ _

 

“That was a long time ago, dear,” said Anne, quietly. “Things have changed since then.”

“It wasn’t that long ago that you were cursing the ground that he walked upon,” he said. She frowned. “What changed for you? What made you trust him?”

“I saw the way that he looked at you,” Anne said, simply. “I also saw that he was unafraid of showing his feelings and that he wasn’t trying to excuse his actions from all those years ago.”

“I forgave him for all of it, Mum. Maybe too fast … it feels like a dream, everything that happened. I swear, when I saw him again it felt like he had gone on an extended holiday and that was all there was to it. It wasn’t as though he had run away from what we built together.”

“You’ve always loved more fiercely than anyone that I’ve ever met, dear,” said Anne. “I’ve never thought that you loved anyone or anything to a fault, though.”

“We both know that’s bullshit,” he smirked, and Anne smacked his arm.

“Language!” He threw his head back and laughed.

“I knew that he was something fierce when he didn’t back down on me that day that I asked him about his health,” Anne admitted. “Most people would’ve said to shove off.”

“Are you mad? He was piss in his pants nervous that day about meeting you. He knew that he was working against history and wanted nothing more than to impress you.”

“Well, he did,” she said, entwining her hands. “I suppose we all get nervous from time-to-time, though.”

 

_ ~Flashback~ _

 

_ He felt as though he was going to be sick all over Jay’s porch. He knew that Louis would be at his childhood home; there was nowhere else that meant quite as much to him. Even if on the off-chance he was not there, he knew that Jay could help him find him and bring him home. _

_ Trying to quell his nerves, he reached out and rang the doorbell. After a few moments, he heard footsteps. _

_ “Hi, can I —” The door opened and he was face-to-face with Lottie. “Harry.” _

_ He was sure that her broken expression was mirrored in his own. She shook her head. _

_ “Now’s not —” _

_ “Please don’t turn me away, Lots,” he pleaded. “I know that he’s here — he wouldn’t go anywhere else. I need to see him so that I can tell him to come home.” _

_ “I can’t —” _

_ “Hazza!” squealed a voice from the distance. He barely had enough time to brace himself before he was smothered by a fiery ball of red curls. “I’ve missed you.” _

_ “I’ve missed you, too, Doris,” he said, weakly. He stood up and placed her on his hip. “Please let me in Lottie.” _

_ “Harry —” _

_ “Lottie, who’s at the —?” Jay’s sentence die in her throat as she approached. _

_ “Please, Jay —” _

_ “Charlotte, for Heaven’s sake, let him inside!” Jay said, brushing Lottie to the side. _

_ He walked in, still holding Doris in his arms, and took in his surroundings. The house was still the same as ever, toys littering every corner and crevice. Another home for him. _

_ “He’s in bad shape, Harry,” said Jay, sadly. “He won’t even talk to us about what happened …” He swallowed. “I could tell it wasn’t a fight, though. He was —” _

_ She trailed off, but he had an idea of what she was going to say. _

_ Broken, destroyed, distraught. _

_ Any adjective that could describe him at the moment as well. _

_ He looked down at the bright, sunny girl in his arms who was playing with the ends of his hair. Jay seemed to follow his train of thought. _

_ “Doris Poppet, why don’t you find Daddy and Ernie, yeah? Lunch will be ready soon.” _

_ He set her down and she took off to the back of the house. He then turned to the other two women stood beside him and ran a hand over his face. _

_ “I woke up and he was gone,” he croaked. “He said that he knew I wouldn’t willingly leave him, so he would do it for me.” _

_ “Why?” implored Jay. “Why would he just leave?” _

_ “Ever since we went public … the comments are less than kind toward him. He also … he has refused to take his meds.” _

_ He watched as the color drained out of their faces. Lottie walked into the den and sat down on the edge of the sofa. _

_ “Which —?” _

_ “All of them,” he said, grimly. “He took the HIV more recently, though. It was the lack of meds for the schizophrenia that set everything in motion.” _

_ “Let me go upstairs,” said Jay, walking toward the kitchen briskly. _

_ “Jay, what are you —?” _

_ “He has to take them, Harry! He’ll — he’ll —” _

_ “Die?” _

_ They all spun around, their eyes landing on Louis who stood at the foot of the staircase. _

_ “Louis,” he breathed, moving toward him. He felt a piercing pain in his heart when Louis withdrew further from him. _

_ “What are you doing here?” Louis asked, coolly. _

_ “I came to find you so that we could go home together. Please, Louis, when I woke up and saw that you weren’t there —” _

_ “What more do you want from me, Haz?” Louis snapped. “I already gave you a farewell fuck to remember me by!” _

_ “Louis William Tomlinson!” screeched Jay. _

_ He just stared at Louis. _

_ “Do you honestly think that I would wake up and think, ‘Oh, well, at least I got some before he left’ and just go about my routine? Do you really think that I would have fallen asleep last night if I had connected the dots and realized that you were intending to disappear?” _

_ “Go home, Harry,” said Louis, emotionlessly. “I’ve already said that you’ll be better without me there disrupting your life with my drama.” _

_ “It’s not drama, Louis!” _

_ “It’s bullshit!” Louis finally screamed, losing his temper. “All of it, it’s complete and utter bullshit! Us going public, it was a crock of shit! We fooled ourselves into thinking that it would make life better and all it did was open our eyes to reality. We can’t be together now and we can’t be together ever!” _

_ “You don’t m-mean that,” he stammered. “You’re just —” _

_ “Saying it because I’m off my meds?” said Louis, sardonically. “I’ve got news for you, Harry, I thought it long before I stopped taking them. They just kept me from speaking my mind.” _

_ He just shook his head, trying to ignore the tears in Jay and Lottie’s eyes as they watched everything unfold in the foyer. _

_ “You won’t get me to leave and you can’t push me away, Louis,” he said, simply. “I’ll leave for now because you should rest, but I’m not going far.” He pulled out his car keys. _

_ “Harry, you don’t have to —” He shook his head at Jay. _

_ “I’ll be back tomorrow if that’s OK with you,” he addressed to her, and she nodded. _

_ “What about what I want?” said Louis, more meekly this time. He looked at Louis. _

_ “It was never really about what you wanted, was it, Louis?” he said, solemnly. “It was always about what you refused to admit that you need.” _

_ He turned on his heel, walking out of the house and down the driveway to his car. _

 

_ ~End Flashback~ _

 

“Speaking of piss in your pants scared,” he said, with a light laugh. “I don’t think I was ever as terrified as I felt that day.”

“It all worked out, though, didn’t it?” said Anne with a light smile. He returned it.

“Yeah, I suppose it did.”

 

***

 

“How are you feeling, mate?” asked Niall, walking into the living area, followed by Perrie, Jesy, Jade and Leigh-Ann.

“You finally have the entourage that you’ve always wanted, then?” he said, quirking an eyebrow. “What are you all doing here?”

“We’re here to wish you good luck!” chirped Jade, before any of the others could speak.

“I can’t believe my baby boy is getting married!” cried Perrie, running over to him and embracing him tightly.

“My suit, Pez!” he protested, laughing when she smacked his arm. “You know that I’m hardly your  _ baby _ .”

“I’ve known you since you were a puny 19-year-old,” she said with a sniff. “You’re now  _ 28 _ . I’ve practically known you since you were a fetus.”

“Yeah, I bet,” he snorted, as the others chuckled.

They shared a meaningful look, and Perrie seemed to understand.

“Niall, can you bring the girls to the reception area? They should join the others.”

The other four traipsed back out of the house, leaving him and Perrie alone.

“What’s on your mind, love?” Perrie asked, concerned. “Not having second thoughts?”

“Christ, why does everyone think that I’ll be the flight-risk?” He saw Perrie hesitate and cringed. “No, shit, I didn't mean it like that. I know he wouldn’t —”

“You shouldn’t go into a marriage holding onto those fears, Harry,” she said, sitting down, straightening out her dress as she did. “It’s not healthy and it’s not fair.”

“I know,” he groaned, rubbing his face. “It’s just — how could I not … I’m the worst.”

“You’re not the worst,” Perrie insisted. “You’re getting antsy; that’s natural. You two have also got a lot of negative history. It’s hard not to hold onto parts of that.”

“It wasn’t  _ all _ negative, though.”

 

_ ~Flashback~ _

 

**_2021 – 1 Year After Louis Left_ **

 

_ “Thank you, Lou,” he said, softly. “Today was absolutely beautiful.” _

_ Louis had recreated the day that he asked him to move into their flat. Amazingly, Louis even got the same players involved again. Louis had sent him to the old café where he worked, Brixton, Trafalgar Square, but he did not send him back to the same final destination. _

_ Instead of their flat, he was instructed to go straight to Regent’s Park, where he and Louis would occasionally spend Sundays in secluded parts that were rarely populated. They would often bring scones, hot chocolate and a blanket, and simply enjoy the scenery. _

_ “Of course, Haz. I wanted our anniversary to be special,” Louis replied, easily. _

_ He looked at him closer and could see that Louis’ fingers were twitching slightly. _

_ “Are you OK, love?” he asked, taking hold of Louis’ hands. _

_ Louis smiled meekly, which did nothing to lessen his concern. _

_ “Brilliant as long as you’re here with me.” He looked at Louis more closely. _

_ “You can tell me anything, yeah? If something’s bothering you, I’d like to help in any way that I can to alleviate some of that stress.” _

_ Louis’ gaze softened and the older boy stroked his hand. _

_ “I know you would, Haz. That’s what I love the most about you; how kind and compassionate you are to all those around you. You inspire me to keep improving, Haz.” _

_ “Lou, you’re all those things, too —” Louis nodded hastily. _

_ “I know,” Louis said. “I couldn’t see it for a while, but with your help, I can now.” _

_ He smiled as he felt Louis’ lips brush his own and he responded eagerly. However, before he could get used to the wondrous taste, Louis pulled away again. _

_ “I don’t know what I would do without you, Haz. No, let me finish,” Louis insisted, shaking his head. “I know that I’ve said in the past that I could go on without you, and maybe that’s true — we can all go on without those we love — but it wouldn’t be a life worthy of living. Not when you’re out there radiant and inspiring everyone around you to be better people.” _

_ “‘Be a lover. Choose love. Give love. Love everyone, always.’ Those are words that you live by and try to inspire others to live by, as well. I’ve always admired you for that, and it’s a continued honor to watch you grow into the magnificent man that I knew you would be.” _

_ He could feel tears gently rolling down his cheeks. They only increased as Louis thumbed them away gently and also as he caught Louis reaching into his pocket. _

_ “We’ve never done anything conventional, Haz, and I like to think that it keeps us on our toes.” He let out a watery laugh, and Louis grinned through his own damp eyes. “We may be able to continue our lives without each other in them, but I never want to find out. I want to grow old next to you. I want to start a family with you. I want to cry in your arms as our children get married and give us grandchildren. I want to stare into your beautiful green eyes as they flutter shut next to me every night and wait longingly for the morning when I can see them again.” _

_ “I’m sorry if I say that I need you, Harry Edward Styles, but I don’t care because I’m not scared of love. When I’m not with you, I’m weaker, but I don’t think that’s necessarily wrong since you make me stronger than I ever thought I could be. So, before we both lose the plot and start crying for real, would you do me the honor of marrying me?” _

_ He could feel himself breathing heavily, his heart pounding chords of joy. _

_ “Yes, yes,” he sobbed. “A million times, yes.” _

_ He gasped as Louis connected their lips, the scorching sensation reaching his core. Their lips moved in sync, and he guided his fingers into the base of Louis’ hair, where it curled. As they continued to kiss, he could taste the saltiness, and he was no longer sure if they were his tears, or if Louis had begun to cry as well and their tears mixed with one another. _

_ When they pulled apart, he let out a joyous laugh as Louis slid the ring onto his finger. _

_ “Does everyone —?” _

_ Louis shook his head. _

_ “They suspect. I wanted you to be the first one to know officially, though.” He smiled. _

_ “I love you so much, Louis Tomlinson.” _

_ “The feeling is mutual, Harry Styles.” _

 

_ ~End Flashback~ _

 

“You’re right,” smiled Perrie. “That was the most romantic engagement I ever heard.”

“Louis means everything to me,” he said, smiling fondly at the memory. “I want all of those things that he said in his proposal; a family, a life together, a future. He’s all I need, Pez.”

“Sounds like you’re more ready than you give yourself credit for, then,” Perrie said. “You’ve worked through your fears and concerns, Harry, and they’ll reappear at times. For both of you. The two of you have the tools to work through them healthily now, though.”

“You’re right,” he said. “We’ve come a long way in the last two years.”

 

_ ~Flashback~ _

 

**_2020 – Two Weeks After Louis Left_ **

 

_ “Hazza, are you planning on moving in here?” asked Doris one morning. _

_ He was sitting at the dining table with her and Ernest, and he was doing the crossword absentmindedly while the two of them were eating their breakfast. He told Jay to go take some time for herself and Dan, and that he would watch the two youngest family members. They gratefully and thankfully accepted his offer. _

_ “Why do you ask that, Doris?” he said, putting his pencil down. He was no further to finding out was “5 across” was than he was 25 minutes ago. _

_ “You’re here a lot more than usual,” she said. “You don’t have many clothes, though, so you have to go home soon, don’t you?” she added, intelligently. _

_ “I’ll be here until your mum tells me to leave,” he said, only half-kidding. _

_ “Why don’t you sleep here at night?” asked Ernest, silent prior to his question. _

_ “What do you —?” _

_ “You always come back in the morning. Why aren’t you and Lou here together?” _

_ He frowned, internally wondering the same question. He was still trying to get through to Louis, but the latter rarely left his room and when he did, he refused to speak to him for long intervals of time, other than simple “excuse mes” or “is there any cereal left?” _

_ He thought that once Louis got back on his meds — which he did at Jay’s insistence — that things would start to improve. He did not expect an immediate spike in his approval ratings, but more than the poor reception that he was receiving was his hope. _

_ “Louis and I … couples spend time apart,” he settled for. “It doesn’t mean that they don’t love each other. Sometimes absence makes the heart grow fonder.” _

_ “Mummy said that when you love someone, though, you’re not apart any more than you have to be,” insisted Doris. “You don’t have to go every night. You’re choosing to go.” _

_ As he opened his mouth to form the response that eluded him, Louis chose to enter the room. He watched as Louis momentarily hesitated, before proceeding to the refrigerator for milk. _

_ “Good morning, Doris and Ernest,” said Louis, turning around to glance at the twins. _

_ “Morning, Lou!” they chirped. _

_ “Can we go play in the den?” asked Ernest. Louis nodded. _

_ “Yeah, Félicité is in there and asked for you to join her. Go on.” _

_ They placed their plates in the sink and scurried out of the room, leaving the two men. _

_ Men. _

_ He still felt like a young boy around Louis at times, and Louis felt the same in his mind. They had done a lot of growing up since they first crossed paths, though, and sometimes it was hard to remember that they were no longer who they used to be. _

_ “Are you ever going to look at me again or is your pride too strong for that?” he asked finally, looking over to where Louis was stood at the kitchen sink. _

_ He watched as Louis’ stance grew tense. He proceeded. _

_ “I mean, I know that you still care about me, otherwise you would’ve told me to shove off by now, but for some reason, you’re not doing that.” _

_ “I’m pretty sure that I did that when you first entered my mother’s home,” Louis said, tersely. He took it as a good sign, though, that he did not refer to it as his home. _

_ “Yeah, but since then you’ve become oddly cordial. As if you’re relieved when you wake up and I’m still here in the morning,” he continued, talking out of his backside. “I can’t say that I understand why since I told you time and time again that I won’t be going anywhere, but —” _

_ He flinched slightly as Louis slammed the bowl down onto the counter, the Cocoa Puffs spilling onto the floor, along with a small puddle of milk. _

_ “Damn it, Harry,  _ stop _ it!” Louis snapped. “It’s too early to be having this fight.” _

_ “Who’s fighting?” he said, his voice oddly calm. “I’m merely —” _

_ “You’re merely staying where you don’t belong! Go  _ home _ , Harry! Go home and leave me alone. There are plenty of boys in London and around the world who would be at your beck and call. Just because I refuse to be doesn’t mean that you can harass me in my mother’s home.” _

_ “Hey,” he said, his anger piquing. “Don’t make me sound like I’m some slag who’s only after you because I want you to worship the ground that I walk upon. That’s not fair, Louis.” _

_ “Do you know what’s also not fair, Harry?” quipped Louis. “Feeling like I’m being watched at all times. I know what’s on your mind — you think now that I’m back on my meds, I’ll suddenly fall at your heels and beg for your forgiveness, which you’re in ready supply of, and that we’ll traipse back to London where we can live happily ever after. It doesn’t work that way.” _

_ “Of course not,” he said. “I always preferred the countryside, myself.” _

_ He felt victorious when he saw Louis’ lip twitch, and he knew that the other boy felt betrayed by his own body for the allowance. He sighed. _

_ “It doesn’t need to be so damn difficult, Louis,” he said. “I know that I’m not great at talking it all out, we both have to work on that. We need to do it together, though.” _

_ “There’s nothing to —” _

_ “Stop it!” he said, standing up. He moved toward Louis, grateful that Louis did not retreat. “Stop treating us like we’re a terminal case. Stop treating yourself like you’re a terminal case. I want a future with you, Louis William Tomlinson. I don’t care if I have to wait days, weeks or months. You’re the man that I want to spend the rest of my years with, and I expect us to be together for that many years as well.” _

_ “I can’t promise you that many years, Harry,” said Louis, his voice cracking with emotion. “I can’t promise you next week … next year … 20 years from now … all of it’s temporary.” _

_ “I know that,” he insisted, edging slightly closer. “God, I know that. You don’t think I know that I could lose you at any moment? It’s not just the virus either, Louis. I could walk outside two weeks from today and get taken out by a double decker bus. It’s all in flux, but it doesn’t mean it’s not worth holding onto all the time that we have together. All we have is right now, and I don’t want to spend the rest of my life wishing that I had fought a little harder or a little longer to prove to you that I’m in it for the long haul.” _

_ “We could live without each other,” said Louis, wiping his eyes. “It wouldn’t be easy, I know that, Haz, but we could. We’ve done it before.” _

_ “We both know that we’re half of ourselves at best when we’re apart,” he said, closing the space between them. He wrapped his arms around Louis’ waist, relieved when he was not met with any protests. “Yeah, we’d survive, but that would be it. What kind of life would that be?” _

_ When Louis did not respond, he brushed the smaller boy’s fringe to the side. He felt Louis melt into his touch; a sensation he missed over the last couple of weeks. _

_ “It’ll never be easy, Louis,” he said. “People will talk, they’ll presume that they know about us in ways that only we’ll ever know. We know the truth, though. They don’t know about the ‘I love you’s’ that I intend to whisper to you every night when we go to sleep from here until forever. That’s just for us, and so are any obstacles that we have to overcome. The difference is that we’ll face these obstacles together. No apologies, no regrets.” _

_ “You make it sound like it’s so simple.” He shook his head. _

_ “Nothing about us was ever simple, Louis. It was always worth it, though.” _

 

_ ~End Flashback~ _

 

“You’re going to make my makeup run during your vows, aren’t you?” Perrie sighed.

He grinned.

“We’re saps, Pez. You should’ve planned ahead with waterproof mascara.”

“Damn it,” she said, with a watery chuckle. “Give me some tissues to keep in my clutch.”

He laughed, handing some over to her. She put them into her clutch as she stood again.

“I’m going to head over. Try to relax as much as you can. The difficult parts are behind you. Remember, if you feel yourself getting panicked, do the breathing exercises we discussed.”

He stood up, pulling her into a hug. She returned it, her small frame wrapping around his larger one in a way that always grounded him.

“Thank you, Perrie,” he said, softly. “For everything.”

She squeezed him a little tighter.

“Thank you, too, H,” she said, and he looked at her quizzically. “I always told myself to keep a distance from forming relationships with people at work. I’m glad you got in under the wire and proved me wrong.”

He kissed her on the cheek, and watched as she left the house, leaving him alone for the first time that day. Everything was almost ready to go.

“You look ready.”

He turned and smiled broadly.

“You look stunning,” he said, honestly, and Lottie curtsied.

“I mean, I try,” she said with a smirk. “They don’t call me the best woman for nothing.”

“Louis’ lucky to have you standing up there with him,” he said. “His fiercest defender.”

“I think that you’ve given me a run for my money,” she teased, elbowing him slightly. “I’m so glad to be a part of this wedding and in the most positive sense, I’m glad that it’s happening.”

“So am I,” he admitted. “It was rough goings for a while, but I knew we would make it.”

“No you didn’t,” she said, shaking her head. “I did, though. You and my brother are made for each other and Mum always says that the two of you deserve some sweet happiness.”

“After today, I finally get to call her ‘Mum’, too.”

“Please, as  _ if _ she hasn’t tried to get you to call her that for years regardless.”

He smiled, letting out a content breath, and she seemed to get his feelings without him needing to articulate it.

He was at ease.

“Tommy’s probably wondering where you are right about now,” he said, and she snorted.

“Please, he’s too busy using Snapchat filters with Doris and Ernest.” She had an angelic look on her face when she spoke of him. He knew that their wedding would not be too far away. “I’ll see you up there, bro-to-be?”

He felt his heart grow about four sizes, and he pulled her into a hug.

“I’ll see you soon, sis.”

 

***

 

“You saved your best man for last, right?” drawled Niall from the doorway.

“Damn, and here I thought I would make it up the aisle without having to deal with you.”

“Funny, H. Really witty.” Niall then grew serious. “You ready to go?”

“More ready than I ever felt before.” Niall grinned.

“Shit, can you believe that we met nearly 25 years ago and now I’m with you on your wedding day? Honestly, if you told me that once upon a time, I would’ve asked who the unsuspecting broad would be.”

“You’re awful.”

“Just trying to set the mood.”

“Really, though, Ni. Thanks for standing by me.” Niall looked at him questioningly. “I know that we haven’t always seen eye-to-eye on my relationship with Louis, but it means a lot that you’re here today and that you’ll be by my side.”

“Really? We’re doing the heartfelt moment?” He rolled his eyes, and Niall just shook his head. “I’m happy for you, H. I always wanted the best for you, and I’m glad we’re finally here.”

He embraced Niall, hugging him tightly as he heard someone clear their throat.

“It’s time,” said Anne, smiling from the doorframe.

Niall clapped him on the shoulder with a grin and walked out the door, kissing Anne on the cheek before he disappeared to the venue. He glanced at his mother.

“Ready, then?” Anne asked. He smiled nervously.

“Absolutely.”

 

***

 

The open field was the perfect spot for a couple to start a new life together.

As the sun shone down on the remaining wedding guests that were queueing to get to their seats, he could see the golden rays that bathed them in light. They made the right choice deciding to have their wedding in the open land.

Really, though, he knew that it did not matter where they got married. He found the perfect man that he would be able to spend the rest of his life with and that was all he needed.

As he stood at a slight distance, he could hear the first chords of Pachelbel's Canon. He felt his heart begin to race — ever since he was a young boy, he knew that was the song that he wanted to be played at his wedding. The moment was finally here.

He waited antsily as the procession continued to move up. He would be last to go down the aisle with his mother.

“Are you ready, dear?” Anne whispered into his ear.

He blinked, unaware that they were already at the front of the queue.

He smiled down at her and nodded.

As the the chords intensified, they began walking down the aisle. If he were paying attention to the smiling faces around him, he would notice his sister and mates grinning from ear-to-ear on one side of the aisle. If he looked to the other side, he would see Jay and the younger Tomlinson-Deakins stretching their necks to get a good look at him and Anne.

He only had eyes on one person, though.

Standing radiantly at the end of the aisle, though it felt as though he was stood right in front of him, was Louis.

Louis was dressed in a navy blue tux that perfectly complimented his eyes, which he insisted Louis wear.

“They highlight your eyes, Lou,” he had insisted. Louis just shook his head.

“No one’s going to be noticing my eyes, Harold.”

“Who said anything about anyone else? This is for  _ me _ .”

That settled it, then. Louis then insisted that he wear a soft, meadow green tux, which he thought was absurd in terms of their color scheme, but Louis insisted that if his eyes were going to pop, then so would his. He could not argue with that logic.

Louis was beaming at him in an achingly beautiful way. It was blinding, really — more so than the sun. Louis  _ was _ the sun. Louis exuded warmth and support wherever he went, and without him, he knew that the world would be a much colder, harsher — and honestly, unsustainable — place.

Finally, after what felt like a lifetime, he arrived in front of Louis. He felt his mother kiss his cheek and he squeezed her hand comfortingly. She then walked to her seat next to Gemma.

As he moved to walk toward Louis, he felt himself stumble slightly over his own feet, letting out a breath as Louis steadied him.

“Oops,” he said with a breathy laugh. Louis’ eyes crinkled.

“Hi.” The two of them simply stared at each other in wonder.

“Welcome,” said Perrie, and he turned to her with a huge grin. She returned the smile, “to Harry and Louis’ wedding. Believe it or not, we rehearsed this part and Harry still managed to trip over his own two feet.”

Everyone laughed, including Louis, and he just scowled playfully at Perrie.

“When Harry and Louis first came to me to ask if I would speak today, as they prepare to start the next chapter in their lives as a couple, a small, but distinctly there, part of me was furious at them because I knew that I would end up crying by the end of it.” He snorted. “The more significant part of me was honored, though, to be included in such a remarkable time in their lives, especially given all the trials that these two have gone through together and apart.”

“The two of them came into my life nearly a decade ago, when Harry was only 19 and Louis was 21 — don’t ask how old that makes me now — and although the circumstances that brought us together were upsetting, I selfishly would not change a moment of it.”

“I got to know Harry before I knew Louis well. I’ve seen him during the hardest stages of his life when he and Louis were apart, the transformative stages of his life when he become a public icon and the most intimate, private moments of his life when he’s come to me for advice, and we had conversations that I will always treasure. I’ve watched as he’s grown from a silent, angry boy into the strong, confident man that he is today, and I could not be more honored to call him one of my closest friends, and I cannot wait to watch as he and Louis start their lives officially as husbands, and eventually, as they start a family of their own.”

“As I said before, I met Louis around the same time as I met Harry, but I didn’t know him well until he re-entered Harry’s life five years later. Louis is another one of the strongest men that I was blessed with meeting, and even when he doubts it, I know that he keeps Harry steady and grounded in a way that no one else could. He’s determined to fight all that comes his way, and he’s got a beautiful clan of siblings sitting over there that he would do anything to protect, which is how I know that he will be a wonderful father to his and Harry’s eventual children.”

“These two experienced more in the last 11 years than most people do in a lifetime. They are not any worse for it, though, and it only made them stronger and more protective of each other, as well as their loved ones. So, if they’re ready, I’ll let them say the vows they prepared.”

“Thank you,” he mouthed to Perrie, wiping his eyes. She smiled, wiping her own.

“Haz,” Louis breathed, prepared to say his first. “I made you promise that I could say my vows first so that my eyes wouldn’t be bloodshot by the time you finished yours.”

The wedding guests laughed, and he let out a watery chuckle.

“There are times when I lay awake at night wondering how we managed to get here, but I could not be happier that we did. You are the most selfless, compassionate, supportive man that I could have envisioned being by my side, and the fact that in the next 20 minutes I’ll be able to call you my husband makes my heart sing in a way I only thought happened in films.”

“I love you more than I can articulate, Harry Edward Styles. I love how you’re patient with me even when I try to push you away, I love how you remind me every day that you’ll be by my side even when the world feels like it’s falling apart and I love that even though I have made mistakes in the past, and they were significant ones, we were able to work it out together because it taught me that anything is possible as long as I’m next to you.”

“Harry?” said Perrie, her eyes shining. He briefly let go of Louis’ left hand so that he could wipe his eyes.

“That’s the last time I’ll ever let you finish first,” he muttered, but everyone, including Louis, seemed to hear him and burst out laughing. He looked sheepishly at his mother, who shook her head, but he could see her upper lip twitching.

“Louis Tomlinson,” he finally said, once he collected himself. “I must admit I thought I’d like to make you mine when we reunited five years after we went our separate ways. Even when I told myself that we separated for the best of reasons, I knew in my heart that we were meant to be together for the long-run. I’m so glad that I trusted that instinct because I could never imagine myself standing up here in front of all the people who matter to me and professing my love to anyone other than you.”

“You constantly humble me and remind me that even when I don’t have the answers, it’s OK because I will always have you and that is more than anything else in the world. You keep me grounded, and I love that you never treated me differently after finding out the career path I chose, and I love that I knew you wouldn’t because we were always simply Harry and Louis.”

“If I could spend a thousand lifetimes with you, it still wouldn’t feel adequate because when I’m with you, I feel like I’m ageless and we’re just getting to know each other for the first time, and everyone should be able to feel that with the person that they love. Thank you for showing me love, kindness and respect every day that we spend together. I couldn’t be more grateful to have picked someone as supportive as you to spend the rest of my life alongside.”

He smiled and gently thumbed the tears tracking down Louis’ cheeks. All he wanted was hold Louis close and kiss him until everyone else witnessing the ceremony disappeared.

“May we have the rings?”

Lottie stepped forward, wiping her own eyes, and handed Perrie the two bands.

“Louis, do you take Harry to be your husband?”

“I do,” replied Louis, emitting a choked laugh. He had never seen Louis look as radiant.

“Harry, do you take Louis to be your husband?”

“I do,” he said, placing Louis’ ring onto the other man’s finger. It shined brilliantly.

“Then, I now pronounce you husbands,” said Perrie, smiling from ear-to-ear.

He leaned forward before another sound could be uttered and captured Louis’ lips in his own. He laughed into the kiss, and felt Louis do the same, both of them trembling with nerves and something else that was electrifying them to the core.

Hope.

 

***

 

“May I present to you, Louis and Harry Tomlinson-Styles.”

They were greeted with thunderous applause as they entered the greenhouse ballroom. When they were looking for the perfect venue, they wanted one encased in glass so that either the sun or moon would shine inside and illuminate the room.

“The newly weds will now share their first dance.”

They made their way effortlessly to the dance floor, their eyes only one each other as everyone else in the room stared transfixed at them.

“You know, one of these days you’ll have to let me lead,” he teased, whispering into Louis’ ear. He heard Louis snort.

“I’m the compass love, you’re the ship,” was Louis’ easy reply. “Or have you forgotten already the promise that we had inked into our skins?”

“Could never forget,” he said, honestly. “I thought our mums were going to have coronaries when we told them that we got tattoos.”

“Mine nearly did,” said Louis, spinning him and then bringing him close again. “Thought Dan was going to have to catch her before she passed out.”

“They turned out beautiful, though, I think,” he said, referring to the tattoos.

“I never had any doubt.”

They continued to move around the floor in sync, as if they were one vessel floating in the middle of the sea with no obstacles.

“Your vows were beautiful,” he finally said, looking into Louis’ eyes. He felt his heart expand when he watched the crinkles appear next to them. “Knew they would be, though. You could never resist being an absolute sap.”

“What about you, Mr. I-Picked-Someone-Supportive?” teased Louis. “Trying to one-up me at my own wedding?”

“I did, though. My supportive spouse.”

“Spouse,” tested Louis. “My  _ husband _ .”

“I love it when you talk dirty to me,” he said, lowly, and Louis let out a cackle, smacking his arm. Still, they did not miss a beat.

“You know what’s next?” Louis eventually said. He looked at him questioningly. “Once I make an honest husband out of you, I’ll have to make you a father, too.”

He felt his heart skip at the idea. Their own little ones running around on Sunday mornings, Louis reading their youngest to sleep every night, himself teaching their oldest how to cook and prepare Louis’ tea once he or she was old enough. It was a beautiful picture.

A picture Louis, too, was clearly imagining in front of him with a wistful look. He knew what was on Louis’ mind.

“However we have children, they’ll be a part of you, too,” he promised, cupping Louis’ cheek. Louis nodded hastily. “Even if our children don’t share our DNA, they’ll have our love, our  _ hearts _ … that’s what we’ll give to them, and I can’t wait to share that with you forever.”

“I love you so much, Harry Tomlinson-Styles,” said Louis, looking up at him.

He smiled down.

“I love you too, Louis Tomlinson-Styles.”

Then, as all married couples do, they sealed it with a kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to everyone who has supported the series! I started "Hostage Of Your Heart" when I was a first-semester freshman in college, and it was my first ever HL fic, and now I'm finishing the third part of a series that I never expected as I am starting my final semester of senior year. Time sure flies, but Harry and Louis will never stop loving each other in my fic series, or in real life. xx


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